Unimaginative Title
by Hotaru Aino
Summary: A parody to the bad Halfa Sue fics out there. AN: Due to personal problems this will be my last update for at least a month.


Title: Unimaginative Title Rating: PG-13 for violence, language and possible innuendos.  
Warnings/Author Note: This is a parody of all the bad Halfa Sue fics that I see out there. There are the few and far betweent that can be decently written but for the most part it's crap, clichéd, and frankly scary. This started due to a challenge from Phantom100 to write a fic that has a Mary Sue in it and is filled with Clichés. I've tried my best to make this 100 crap and I swear if any of you take this seriously you're going to give me a heart attack. This is the first of a few chapters following through on what almost all the basic plot points coughbullshitcough that Halfa Sue fics go along with. I hope I make you laugh if you hate the Mary Sue's and if you do like them... I hope you come to your senses...

Chapter one: Perfectly timed introductions.

Tucker quickly skimmed through his palm pilot, looking up notes from his last English class when he ran into someone. His first reaction was to tell the person to watch where they were going but the words died on his tongue when he looked up at the beautiful stranger.

It was like in a movie and he half expected music to play in the background when she offered him a hand up. He wiped his suddenly clammy hands on his jeans and accepted the help, lost in the girl's bright, gem like blue eyes. Tucker laughed nervously as he stood with her help. The stranger had a bit of a crooked smile and she put a hand on her hip as she apologized. When she grinned at him he noticed how pearly white her teeth were, and though she had sparkling braces, it only seemed to enhance the attraction he had for no reason.

"Hey are you okay?" The ebony haired stranger asked, "This is, like, the third time I've asked you."

"I'm fine." Tucker responded, his voice cracking.

The youth was mortified and covered his mouth with a blush, wishing he could take back the strange squeak. The girl he bumped into giggled and placed a hand on Tucker's arm, her eyes glittering with mirth. Pink painted nails lightly scratched his flesh in a flirtatious manner.

"You're really cute."

Tucker felt like he was going to swallow his tongue and he tried to complement her back. She batted her eyes at him coyly, looking up as the bell for lunch rang. The ebony haired girl leaned forward and touched her nose to his, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. She stepped back again when she noticed Paulina coming from her last class, a slim, fashionable notebook under her arm.

"Paulina!" The new girl squealed and threw herself on the wannabe diva.

The popular girl turned, an elegant eyebrow raised questioningly. When she saw who it was, Paulina screamed as well, throwing herself into the arms of the stranger. People in the hallway stopped to stare as the duo bounced up and down giggling, their breasts jiggling and shirts raising slightly with every movement. Finally they stopped and casually adjusted their clothes, ignoring the looks they received.

"Like, oh my god, when did you get here?" Paulina grinned.

"Just a few hours ago, isn't it so totally bitchin'?" The new girl giggled.

Paulina hugged her friend and then pulled back to flip hair from her eyes. The stranger slipped a familiar arm around Paulina's waist and they started down the hall together, not seeming to notice the looks from ogling boys and petty girls. Tucker was still a bit in awe that the cute girl had flirted with him and didn't notice Danny or Sam come up behind him, calling his name.

Sam rolled her eyes. "What happened, did Paulina accidentally flash you or something?"

"I'm cute." The boy finally responded.

Danny blinked, not sure he had heard properly as he tapped Tuck on the shoulder. The halfa jumped back in surprise when his friend suddenly bellowed 'I'm cute' and started to do a touchdown dance. Sam looked over at her super powered friend and motioned for him to do something.

"Tucker! What's with the sudden confidence?" Danny wrinkled his nose.

"She said that I'm cute."

"Paulina?!" Sam immediately jumped the gun.

"No it's . . . " Tucker stopped his dancing and cursed, "I didn't get her name."

The poor tormented youth looked like he was ready to eat his hat, but Danny wanted more answers, his hormones given a jump at the thought of a hot chick thinking his best friend was cute. If she thought Tucker was cute, there had to be hope for him too. He pounced on Tucker's back, giving him a hug.

"Tuck, this is fantastic, we gotta go after this chick." Danny looked around, "Now which way did she go?"

With a mission now in mind Tucker held his head high. "She went with Paulina! That way!"

Sam only sighed at the mentioning of the air headed girl and followed the energetic boys. It was hard enough trying to keep their attention with just one vixen around, and now there were two? The Goth could only shake her head in wonder. How was it that two intelligent guys could go to pieces just because of a nice pair of leg? Out of the corner of her eye she saw some movement and she turned to see a guy her age swinging a fold up cane, one hand on the lockers beside him.

"I'll catch up with you guys." The gothic youth called to her friends.

Sam frowned when she heard them cheering in response and rolled her eyes, going to help the poor guy at the lockers. She placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder and winced when he flinched berating herself that she should have said something first. But as he turned to her she found speechless for a moment. The guy was really cute with chocolate brown hair pulled into a braid at the nape of his neck. He looked in her direction with glowing green eyes behind a pair of stylish yellow sunglasses worn far down on his nose.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you." Sam looked him up and down, "You look lost."

"Yeah, I'm here with my sister but the dweeb ran on ahead of me." The youth scowled, playing with the handle of his cane.

"Burn." Sam frowned, "I could help you find her if you like."

"I heard a bell go off a couple minutes ago, don't you have a class?"

The shocking green eyes seemed focused on her and Sam found herself blushing even though he couldn't see her. She felt the urge to play with her hair and wanted to scream at the valley-girl stereotyped flirt maneuver. She refused to act dumb or helpless so long as she could help it.

"That was for lunch." Sam ducked her head a moment, glad to have been the first girl to find him. "It's really not a problem. I mean the school's not that big, we just gotta watch out for those dumb jocks."

The stranger folded up his cane and hung it on his belt, making it look oddly like a cool accessory. She grinned when he hooked an arm around hers and patted his hand before starting down the hallway, a little unsure at the pace she should set.

"I used to be one of those dumb jocks ya know," he chuckled.

Sam covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. "Oh god, I sound like a dork now, don't I?"

"No, no it's okay. My name's Rusty." He smiled at her.

"Yeah, that sounds like a jock name." She mused jokingly, "I'm Sam. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." He bowed his head cordially, "I'm just glad I ran into you and not one of those posers like my sister."

"How do you know I'm not a poser?" Sam grinned.

"Because you're intelligent and you're not giggling and clinging to me like arm candy."

"I could be arm candy though, I'm cute. I just need to get one of those stupid Tommy micro-skirts and a tube top." Sam laughed.

She paused a moment, listening to Rusty's chuckle, a shiver ghosting up her spine. She looked at him guiltily and looked out for any new faces among the students. So far among the teens milling around there was zilch.

"Would it be okay if I asked you a personal question?" Sam spoke up timidly.

Rusty rolled his eyes. "It's dark."

Sam looked confused and it showed in her voice. "Dark?"

"Yeah. Most of the time when people ask me that question, and it happens more than you'd think, they ask what it's like to be blind." Rusty sounded bitter.

Sam cringed. "Sorry . . . I was just wondering what kind of jock you were."

"Rusty stopped and looked at her in surprise. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Sam nodded, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's cool." Rusty shook his head. "I guess I'm not used to people asking intelligent questions."

"I'm sorry."

"Quit saying that, you sound like a broken record." Rusty patted her arm and stopped walking. "Is it okay if I touch your face?"

"Yeah, sure." Sam's eyes widened slightly at the request.

She stood still as light fingertips traced her lips and drew a shaky breath, looking up into his half lidded eyes. She felt the urge to lean up and kiss his slightly parted lips when he cupped her cheeks with both hands, his thumbs brushing over her cheekbones. He smiled down at her when he felt her nose and chuckled, touching her cheeks and leading to her hairline. When he felt the soft tresses were taught he let his hands reach back and unraveled her ponytail. Then he ran his fingers in her hair with one hand while the other gently traced her eyes.

"You -are- cute." He smiled, tugging her a bit closer.

Sam giggled shyly and placed her hands over his as they lay on her shoulders. She felt someone come near and her smile fell flat when she looked up to see Dash Baxter. Her pretty features were clouded when she frowned at his intrusion.

"Hey Manson, I see you got a new boyfriend. What's wrong, Fenton too much of a girl to make you happy?" The jock sneered.

"Go away Dash." She glared, taking a step back from Rusty.

"I can't do that, I haven't introduced your boyfriend to our school policy. All newbies, nerds and freshmen need to be initiated," the blonde chortled.

"He isn't my boyfriend!"

"Initiated?" Rusty repeated, his eyes dark.

"Yeah, it's called 'junk the punk'. Someone open up a locker!" Dash laughed and reached for the stranger.

Rusty grinned and motioned for Sam to move away. "And how do you know about this initiation? Last time I checked girls weren't in on it."

Dash looked confused a moment and then clued into the insult. His blue eyes darkened and eh clenched his fist with a scowl. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

"Do you have any idea how much I don't care?" Rusty smirked as he taunted the football player.

Sam's violet eyes widened and she reached a hand toward Rusty, surprised when he slipped his folded up cane off his belt and passed it in her direction. A bit stunned, she accepted the item and did her best not to wring it between her hands. Rusty had his hands at his sides and the gothic girl stepped back carefully, not sure what the new guy was going to do. While she hoped that he could miraculously put Dash in his place she couldn't see how he could beat the snot out of the school's number one jerk. Sam opened her mouth to speak but stopped short when Dash stopped to get a good look at the newcomer.

"You look familiar. What's your name?" Dash demanded.

"My name is for my friends," Rusty spat.

The blonde looked even more pissed now, coming to resemble a hairless gorilla. He fixed the collar of his letterman jacket and took a step toward the boy, not surprised when the other stepped back. Sam's heart quickened when Dash threw his first punch and tensed as Rusty dodged out of the way. She was relieved that he had managed to avoid it but he couldn't play the mongoose for too long. Dash was used to strenuous exercise so he could go for a long bout, and football made him a heavy hitter. Not a good combination for Rusty's favor.

Behind his sunglasses, Rusty kept his eyes wide open. He felt the air cut past his cheek where Dash had tried to hit him and it made his blood race. The last time he had been in a fight was before the accident and he was glad to finally have an outlet. He knew it was wrong to assert his pent up aggression on this poor guy, but he sounded like a jerk anyway. He slid his glasses down his nose slightly and did his best to watch the dark figure coming at him. The accident hadn't left him completely blind but it was pretty damned close. He could no longer see colors, which pained him, but if there was enough light he could make out shapes.

The blind boy hunched over as he was punched in the gut. He could hear Sam calling out to him and smiled grimly. He reached and wrapped his arm around Dash's waist and kept him in place as he fought back. His fist met the athletic boy's abdomen and he could feel muscle as he hit. He shifted his angle slightly and heard a satisfying grunt when he punched slightly lower and to the left.

"Holy crap," Sam said in awe as she watched them exchange blows. "I wish I had my camera."

Dash grit his teeth, used to being pounced on when he was on the field. He gripped the other boy's shirt and hauled back his fist, still getting rabbit punches to the gut as he gathered his strength. The stranger let out a growl and knocked them both to the ground, scrambling to end up on top. The boys that were with Dash cheered them on, not caring who won so long as they got a good show. Sam looked at the mob in shock, she knew they were airheads and neanderthals but she didn't realize it was this bad. She didn't want to hurt Rusty's pride by telling him to stop for his own sake so she swallowed a nervous lump in her throat, not to mention her pride, and stepped forward.

"Rusty stop it. You're gonna seriously hurt him." Sam cried out, gaining stares from the jocks. 

"Me?!" Dash spoke up incredulously.

Rusty took the opportunity to sucker punch the blonde in the jaw and rolled the more muscular boy off him. He bitterly expected Sam to rush to him and check him for injuries but the girl side stepped him to help Dash to his feet. She placed a tender hand on the jock's arm, biting back the laughter when she saw the look on his face.

"Dash, are you alright?" She asked piteously.

The blonde shook off her hand and stood up, putting his fingers gingerly to his split lip. He was a quarterback, he couldn't get hurt by some nerdy new guy! Dash looked at the red liquid on his fingertips in disbelief.

"You little shit, you made me hurt myself!" The jock lied through grit teeth.

Rusty held back a laugh when he felt a small hand on his forearm and moved the hand of his other arm to touch it. Uncalloused fingers brushed with his and it made Rusty smile to hear the trouble making group groan at the affection. 

"Come on Sam, I don't see any reason to stay here."

"You don't see period." A girl sneered.

The group of teens turned to see Paulina standing with a girl every bit as beautiful as her. Both diva wannabe's flipped their hair as they came closer to the group. Their hips swayed in sync, hypnotizing the boys around them. Rusty scowled when he heard the familiar voice and leaned in closer to Sam, whispering for her to pass back his cane. Each of the beautiful girls made their way to Dash, hanging off his arms like the eye candy they were. 

"Sam," Rusty said grimly, "this is my twin sister."

Sam heard hard footsteps on the ground and moved out of the way as Tucker and Danny came running by. The two boys came to an abrupt stop when they saw the two vicious vixens standing at Dash's side.

"Dammit," the younger boys groaned in unison.

The new girl giggled, sending shivers up their spines.

"I didn't even get her name." Tucker whined, turning to walk away.

"My name's Rinoa, and don't worry boys, I won't be leaving any time soon."

Sam felt goose bumps raise on her flesh and she heard a growl from Rusty. There was something unholy and wrong about that girl, but the Goth couldn't put her finger on it. There was something about the way she moved, the way she talked that set Sam's nerves on edge. She wanted to say something but the words caught in her throat. Definitely something wrong, the new girl had to go. 


End file.
